She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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