I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize