i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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