hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
