speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
