Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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