i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
