if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
