we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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