I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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