Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize