oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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