I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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