Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
