dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
His nipple licking is glorious
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