I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
