Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
