She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
