She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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