Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
