have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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