i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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