I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
