Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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