One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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