I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize