Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
