Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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