he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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