Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
