3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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