I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You made out with two different species that night
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
