actually, I'm a sock model
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
