she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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