I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
