all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize