Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
