I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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