yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
