Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
