East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize