oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
