No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
