Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm bleeding and have questions
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
