We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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