Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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