I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
