if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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