True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize