She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
