If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
