coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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