Do you still have your period?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
