Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
