yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
