Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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