Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize