At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
