I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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