tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
jump out the window naked night went bad
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