Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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