Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
