I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
