The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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