return my video game
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
